Why Pre-Marital Sex Is Wrong

Sex in our society. Film stars do it, sports stars do it, politicians do it. Hormone levels are raised by advertising, television, cinema, music and magazines. What is discussed is not so much pre-marital sex, as non-marital sex, or even non- “heterosexual monogamous life-long relationship sex” such is the confusion and need for definition.

Sex is seen in several ways:

1. Sex as "essential"
It is said that there is a natural instinct or need (akin to a hunger for food) which we all have, and that to repress it is damaging to physical and mental health.

2. Sex as "experience"

It is said to be beneficial for people to accumulate as many different experiences of life as possible. Pre-marital sex with several different partners is said to be one of these experiences. Sex is "exciting" and is seen by some as an essential component of "a good weekend."

3. Sex as "experiment"

It is no longer sufficient for a couple to be emotionally, spiritually or intellectually compatible. If they are really serious about each other they ought to discover whether they are sexually compatible too. In the context of cohabitation, this is sometimes seen as a "trial marriage".

4. Sex as "expression"

If two people love each other it is seen as natural for them to express that love through sex, regardless of their marital state.

5. Sex as “entertainment”

It’s free, it’s fun – let’s do it! That seems to be the attitude many have towards “recreational sex.”

In response to these worldy attitudes, Christians can say:

Sex isn’t essential. You’re not less than human if you are a virgin. You’re not repressed if you wait until you’re married before sleeping with someone: you’re sensible! Jesus was born of avirgin, but he was also a virgin himself, while remaining a completely fulfilled and perfect human being. And sex is not just another experience to add to one’s collection. It’s not like going mountain climbing or sky-diving or bungee jumping – just another exciting way to spend a few hours, and nothing more. And sex is too important to just be anexperiment. You don’t need to go “all the way” to know you’re sexually compatible with someone – if you’re a boy and they are a girl, and you’ve both got everything you’re supposed to have, then you’re compatible! It’s not exactly complicated.

There are better ways to express your love for someone you’re not married to. After all, it’s not very loving to have an unwanted pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease or to make someone feel as if you just want them for their body. It is not loving to engage in any activity that displeases God. And sex is not entertainment. If you’re bored go to the cinema or play a computer game or go for a run – don’t misuse something as important as sex just for a bit of mindless fun. That would be like hiring a Rolls Royce car just to pick up some shopping – a waste, a misuse of something precious, something that is far more important if used properly. Other people’s bodies are not just toys for us to play with and then discard.

Pre-marital sex is selfish:

It is never about the other person. If it was, then we wouldn't be risking the other person's health, getting pregnant, spreading disease, emotional welfare, spiritual state-of-being, and future marriage. It is all about me and only me, whenever pre-marital sex happens.

Pre-marital sex is unloving:

Love = "choosing what is best for the other, despite the cost to myself" and could be summed up in one word = "gift". We are called to love others by being a selfless gift for them. Thus, when we choose something that is about me and is not good for the other, then it is not love. Pre-marital sex, by definition, can NEVER be a loving act.

Pre-marital sex is use of another human being:

John Paul II said using another person as a means to an end (in this case your pleasure) and not as an end unto themselves is the opposite of love. It is reducing a human being to an object. Not treating them as a child of God.

Pre-marital sex is a misuse of our sexuality:

Why do we have these desires in the first place? It isn't just to bring us pleasure. It is to be open to new life (procreation) and to bring a married man and woman together (unitive). These two ends are the purpose of marriage. Pleasure is a by-product of sex. A good by-product, but when it replaces one or both of the real purposes - it degrades the act and we are back at selfishness.

Sex is a gift from God and like any gift can be used for good or bad. It is also a beautiful act between a man and wife - in the context of marriage. Sex is something intimate and wonderful. Just like anything good, it can be twisted to be bad. This is what happens in pre-marital sexuality. While it may "feel" like love, we would never risk another person's future, virginity, pregnancy, disease, soul, broken heart, etc. if we loved them.

Sex should be saved for marriage, where intimacy (of all kinds) is supposed to be. Unfortunately in today's world, we give our sexuality, our emotions, our bodies, and our lives to people we our not married to. We have lost the depth to what a intimacy really means. We end up deadening our sensitivity to it and putting present and future relationships at risk. To put it another way, I have never met a person who saved sex (of any kind) for marriage and regretted it, but I have met thousands who didn't keep themselves pure and now do. You will never regret purity. Never. But, you will always regret impurity, eventually.

Casual sex is rampant in many societies. There is, in truth, no such thing as “casual” sex, because of the depth of intimacy involved in the sexual relationship. An analogy is instructive here. If we take a sticky note and attach it to a piece of paper, it will adhere. If we remove it, it will leave behind a small amount of residue; the longer it remains, the more residue is left. If we take that note and stick it to several places repeatedly, it will leave residue everywhere we stick it, and it will eventually lose its ability to adhere to anything. This is much like what happens to us when we engage in “casual” sex. Each time we leave a sexual relationship, we leave a part of ourselves behind. The longer the relationship has gone on, the more we leave behind, and the more we lose of ourselves. As we go from partner to partner, we continue to lose a tiny bit of ourselves each time, and eventually we may lose our ability to form a lasting sexual relationship at all. The sexual relationship is so strong and so intimate that we cannot enter into it casually, no matter how easy it might seem.

The very beginning of the bible lays a foundation for a Judaeo-Christian approach to sex. The early chapters of Genesis tell us that God created the first man and woman and, seeing what He had made, declared that it was ‘very good’. Genesis provides the original context for sexual intercourse and shows that God has designed this wonderful thing to be expressed within a lifelong marital relationship between one man and one woman. Jesus grounds his teaching on sexuality on those words.

The divine image is expressed as both male and female, and so the man and woman are equally human despite their physical, anatomical and procreative differences. As they are joined together as husband and wife their unity and diversity is expressed. ‘So a man will leave his father and his mother and be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh’ (Genesis 2.24). Here we have a blueprint for human sexual love – through the sexual act the man and woman have a new, incredible kind of intimacy. This is called being ‘one flesh’ – designed to be exclusive and faithful.

The question of how sex outside marriage could be wrong can be approached by looking at the beauty, intimacy and preciousness of sex. God designed that this happen in a safe and committed context of love and devotion. According to the maker, this is where sex is at its best.

At the age of 14, she is a mother

On her wedding day, Krishna was just 11 and her husband Gopal Kishan, 13. Today, at the age of 14, she’s mother of a four months old boy. Krishna nearly died in childbirth and had to be hospitalized for days following the delivery. Gopal describes his wife's recovery as "nothing less than a miracle." Gopal, who wanted to have a child and risk his young wife’s life “because of boredom”, now regularly comes home drunk as he hasn’t got any work, as the soybean fields which his family owns are not that fertile now. Although the legal age for marriage in India is 18, the law remains a farce as 40% of the world's child marriages occur in India. Although the UN has been working hand in hand with the government of India to raise awareness, strengthen law enforcement and invest in the education of girls, many of our leaders still consider child marriage as a solution to protect girls from sexual atrocities like rape. These heartbreaking photos throw light on the social evil of child marriage through the life of Krishna and her husband.

4 Ways To Practice Yoga At Work

Busy work routines leave little time for a fitness regime. However, did you know that you can include a bit of exercise even when you are in office? No? Well, then read on to know how you can practice yoga at work and stay fit:

1. Simple Meditation

Sitting in front of the computer screen for long hours affects the eyes, neck, back as well as shoulders of the body. A little bit of meditation can not only rejuvenate the muscles of the body, but also bring about more efficiency in your work. Therefore, make sure to close your eyes, focus on one single object and completely block out all other thoughts from your mind. Practice this at least once a day for a few minutes each to refresh and enervate your mind.

2. Neck Rolls

The worst part of long hours at work and especially sitting at a desk the entire day, is the effect on the neck. It is important not to let that part of the body become stiff and give it some exercise from time to time. For this exercise, you do not even need to move from your seat. Place your palms on your knees, and keeping your back straight, roll your neck slowly from one side to the other. Repeat by moving the neck the other side. Do this a few times, and repeat 2-3 times during the day.

3. Arm Stretch

For this exercise, you need to make sure you have some open space around your seat or cubicle. Stand up straight, with your feet apart. Now take your hands behind your back and clasp both of them together. Pull them away from your body and try and feel the stretch in your arm muscles. Then, slowly bring the arms back to the side of your body. Repeat this 4-5 times. Of course, you need to ensure you do not bump your colleague on their head as you stretch!

4. Wrist Stretch

This is another exercise you can do by standing straight up in front of your desk. Now, place your palms on the desk, so that your wrists are facing the laptop or computer and the fingers are pointed towards you. Applying pressure on the wrist and keeping your back straight, lean towards the front. Be careful to come back to the original position if you begin to feel any pain or of your head begins to reel.

The above methods are easy and comfortable yoga positions to practice while at work. However, it is always advisable to consult a professional before you implement these.

A sunnier outlook

There really is something to the "happy yogi." Doing one hour of asanas—a sequence of standing, sitting and balancing posesóhelped avid posers raise their levels of the brain chemical GABA (low levels are linked with depression) by 27 percent compared with a group who read quietly, a study from Boston University School of Medicine and McLean Hospital reports.

Top-to-toe toning

Smart yogis know dumbbells aren't the only way to sculpt. "Yoga is strength training," says Loren Bassett, an instructor at Pure Yoga in New York City and creator of Bassett's Bootcamp, a vigorous, athletic-style yoga class. "You're using your body weight to move from posture to posture, and in certain poses, you're lifting every pound of it." For surefire firming, focus on muscle-building asanas, like Crow, Crescent, Warrior III and plank.

Aches erased

Put nagging lower-back pain behind you. Sufferers who did two 90-minute yoga classes a week for about six months eased soreness by 56 percent, a study in Spine shows. Those given treatments like pain meds and physical therapy lessened the hurt by only 16 percent. Posing improves posture and strengthens back muscles to keep aches at bay, researchers say.

Better, longer Zzz's

Insomniacs fell asleep 15 minutes faster and slept an hour longer each night after two months of doing a 45-minute series of yoga poses daily before bed. Researchers from Brigham and Women's Hospital speculate that regular practice helped people relax, making it easier to switch off. No trouble hitting the hay? Doing three weekly sessions at any time of the day may still help you doze more deeply, according to study authors. Sounder nights, brighter days!

Steamier sex

You can amp up your desire and ensure an O-mazing time between the sheets by practicing daily asanas, a study from The Journal of Sexual Medicine suggests. The love connection: Yoga helps reduce anxiety, increase body awareness and even speed the release of hormones that rev arousal. All of that translates to a boost in libido, lubrication and ability to achieve orgasm, experts say. If you can't squeeze in a daily session, two hours a week may make a difference. Yoga—satisfying couples since 200 B.C.

Crazy-high confidence

Yoga could be your ticket to body love, research from the University of California in Berkeley finds. Women who practiced regularly rated their body satisfaction 20 percent higher than did those who took aerobics, even though both groups were at a healthy weight. The secret may be that yoga asks you to tune in to how your body feels and what it can do—not how it looks.

Yoga for Pain Relief

Yoga is able to relieve pain of the most extreme kind. This is achieved via yoga’s breathing and stretching techniques that help to regulate the flow of various fluids in the body. This includes blood and lymph that are primarily responsible for transporting essential nutrients and removing toxins. Once the circulatory system gets a boost, the body is able to manage pain in a better way. This means that the intensity of the pain is felt lesser and the inflammation is also reduced. Better circulation means that the body’s ability to self-heal gets a boost.

Greater Flexibility & Strength

People suffering from various types of musculoskeletal problems of the joints, bones or muscles are recommended yoga. This is because yoga helps to strengthen our musculature and ligaments. With greater flexibility, we are able to move, grasp, push, pull and lift things with greater ease. This also ensures a better range of motion. This means that the tendons and muscles in the body are better stretched which helps to avoid injuries. Yoga is one of the most comprehensive exercises since it works all the muscles of the body. Some of the most famous sportspersons endorse yoga for achieving a better physique, including a supple, stronger body.

Increased Cardiovascular Conditioning

Cardiovascular problems have increasingly started affecting people who are barely in their mid-30s. Our sedentary lifestyles combined with bad eating habits ensure that our heart is more prone to developing fatal conditions like a stroke. Yoga is among the rare exercises that can drastically improve the overall cardio conditioning. By harmonizing the breathing pattern, yoga helps to regulate the heart-rate and raise our overall physical endurance. The heart becomes less vulnerable when pushed into demanding, physical and mental situations. More oxygenated blood and a greater range of motion help to keep the body free from toxins, including hormonal debris, that affect our endocrine health.

Look younger

Please note that the stricter principles of yoga emphasize upon eating a certain type of food. However, many people who have benefited from yoga opine that they don’t follow the dietary recommendations as such. Despite this, they have reaped many benefits by practicing yoga. One such, common benefit of yoga is weight management. Since yoga works the entire body and makes the circulation of fluids more robust, it helps to raise the overall metabolic rate. Thus, more calories are burned, per hour. By working out the lean muscle mass, yoga makes it possible to burn fat, lose weight and look younger. The sense of calmness and stimulation of various bodily organs helps to fight-off the aging-causing free radicals that attack our skin on a daily basis.

Build better relationships

Since yoga helps to achieve a better physical and mental state of existence, everyday apprehensions are eradicated. People who are less worried and not bothered by frequent illnesses and naturally feel better. This helps to overcome issues like lack of self confidence or lack of compassion that are common, relationship hurdles. People who regularly practice yoga have a better ability to comprehend situations. This includes the usual issues that surface in human relationships. A more focused mind is undoubtedly able to address such problems in a more capable manner.

A sense of calm

Namaste the stress away! Women who had gone to the mat at least once a week for two years or more released 41 percent less of a tension-triggered cytokine (a type of protein) that can make you feel tired and moody compared with yoga newbies, a study in Psychosomatic Medicine notes.

Tungnath – the kingdom of Lord Shiva

Tungnath, a stately and serene temple dedicated to Lord Shiva, is the second of the five Kedars, the others being Kedarnath, Madhyamaheshwar, Kalpeshwar and Rudranath. The legend behind the temples is rooted in the Mahabharata. It is said that the Pandavas, after the Great War at Kurukshetra, wished to atone for the sins of fratricide and the killing of Brahmins. They were directed to seek the blessings of Lord Shiva. The Lord, however, was in no mood to pardon them as he was angry at the magnitude of their sins. Taking the form of a bull, the Lord hid from the Pandavas at Guptkashi in the Garhwal Himalaya.


The Pandavas caught up with Shiva. Bhima, the second of the brothers, spied a large bull grazing and recognized it as Shiva. He grabbed the bull by its tail and hind legs, but it disappeared into the ground. Later, various parts of the bull reappeared at different locations in the Himalaya.


The sacred bull’s  hump appeared in Kedarnath, the arms at Tungnath, the navel and stomach at Madhyamaheshwar, the face at Rudranath and the hair and head at Kalpeshwar. In gratitude, the Pandavas, who were then in the Himalayas en route to their passage to heaven, built temples at each of these locations. It is also believed that some of the bull’s fore portions materialized at the Pashupatinath Temple in Kathmandu, Nepal.

Terraced fields overlook the valley at Ukhimath. The seat of the Omkareshwara Temple, this town is where the idol of Tungnath is worshipped after winter snowfall renders the mountains inaccessible. On clear days the town offers a breathtaking view of the snowcapped Kedarnath peak. The Mandakini River, a tributary of the Ganga, roars in the valley below. Eventually, it joins the Alakananda at Rudraprayag.

A short drive from Ukhimath is Deoriya Tal, a picturesque mountain lake surrounded by forests of oak and chir pine. A heart-stopping view of the four-pronged peak, Chaukhamba, is reflected in the placid waters of the lake. To get to the lake, which occupies a small plateau at about 8,000 feet, trekkers must walk a 2-km uphill trail from Sari.



The major rivers rising in the Himalaya are snow-fed, but heavy monsoon rain from June to early September leads to a large number of modest springs and cascades on the hillsides.


Before motorable roads made these hill shrines accessible within a day from Haridwar, pilgrims traveled on foot from the roadhead at Rudraprayag. Tired of many years of the government turning a deaf ear to their demands for a motorable road, the people of the region went on a hunger strike. The move paid off. Buses were introduced to connect Rudraprayag with the district headquarters at Gopeshwar through Chopta, a picturesque route that skirts the Kedarnath Wildlife Sanctuary where the five temples are located. As a reminder of the protest, these buses are inscribed with the legend “Bhookh Hartal”, Hindi for Hunger Strike.


After visiting Deoriya  Tal the previous day, we reached Chopta by the “Bhook Hartal” bus from Ukhimath. The tiny hillside village was cloaked in mist and we were hungry. Unable to see much further we followed our noses to a shack where parathas and instant noodles were cooking. The sign on the modest little eatery promised lots more, but we made do with warmth and passable food.

It looks quiet and peaceful in Chopta but one look at this sleeping Bhotia dog told us another story. Notice the spiked metal collar around its neck – this is intended to prevent leopards from killing it. Leopards are opportunistic hunters and frequently prey on dogs with a bite to the throat. The tough metal collars may be uncomfortable for the dogs but its spiky edges have protected them from many a marauding leopard.

Misty mountains  tower over Chopta. After breakfast, we begin the 4 km-climb to Tungnath. The paved trail winds through a tract of dense forest interspersed with alpine meadows, known as bugyals in the Garhwali dialect. Ahead of us, walking in leather slippers and a thin saffron robe was a sadhu. How he defended himself against the punishing elements we do not know. But then again, centuries ago a young saint from Kerala, Adi Sankara, walked these very paths.


Through veils of mist we looked back at the road we had travelled. The oak trees wore shaggy coats of moss and fern. In the peak of winter, the trees will be bare.

Only the hardy,  fragrant deodar trees will resist the snow. Their leaves are modified into hard, tough needles and their barks secrete resin that prevents the snow from freezing the sap.

Finally, we hear bells peal in the distance. And we see the spire of the temple poke out over a sea of mist.

It is the end of the  season and most of the shops are deserted, but one teashop offers piping hot ginger chai. It is still early in the morning. As we stood there catching our breath and sipping tea, a red fox appeared out of the hillside and slunk away into the forest before we could bring out our cameras.

A milestone  informs us that we have reached our destination.
Most tourists choose to ride mules to the top but a few nature buffs, like us, prefer to walk the entire distance. However, people like this porter transporting a gas cylinder on his back have no choice.

These are literally the foggy ruins of time. The stone structures here, weathered by the elements, appear much older than they are.

Here in the main street leading up to the temple, time takes a backseat. It’s like being back in the Stone Age. The huts have roofs of solid slate, weighed down with rocks. Only the waterproof plastic sheets are a reminder of modern times.

Shops selling materials for puja do brisk business. The flowers, coconuts and incense are brought on muleback from Chopta, where they have arrived after a long journey from the plains.

The priest’s chair is placed invitingly outside the temple but we choose to sit on the cool stones in the small courtyard. The priests of the Tungnath temple are local Brahmins from the village of Maku, a few thousand feet below. In all the other Kedar temples, including Kedarnath, the priests are from Udupi or Kerala, a tradition dating back to Adi Sankara’s reforms.

Women prefer thin men over macho males as partners!

Women find thin men more attractive as potential partners rather than those who look 'macho', according to a new study.

Researchers in South Africa
found that while women do respond
morefavourably to the faces
and bodies of men with strong
immune responses, they seem
to cueinto fatness and thinness,
 not macho features, when
making their judgements. 

Macho features have long been touted as an evolutionary asset that heterosexual women look for in a potential mate but researchers said weight may be a more powerful driver of attraction as they found testosterone levels were more closely linked with weight than with macho looks.

Researchers in South Africa found that while women do respond more favourably to the faces and bodies of men with strong immune responses, they seem to cue into fatness and thinness, not macho features, when making their judgements.

Fatness, or adiposity, "is an obvious choice for a marker of immunity because of its strong association with health and immunity," study researcher Vinet Coetzee, a postdoctoral scientist at the University of Pretoria in South Africa, said.

Macho features such as a strong jaw and squinty eyes advertise that a guy possesses high testosterone, according to the immunocompetence handicap hypothesis.

The trouble with the immunocompetence handicap hypothesis is that masculinity is not universally attractive to women, Coetzee and his colleagues wrote in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B.

Weight is consistently linked both to health and immune system functioning, Coetzee said.